3 questions to ask before a hard conversation

Hard conversations don't get easier by avoiding them.

They just get harder.

Here's what I've learned after years of coaching leaders through them:
The preparation that matters isn't about the words.

It's about what you bring into the room before you start talking.

Three questions I give clients before a hard conversation:

What outcome do I actually want?
Not to be heard. Not to be right. What would a good outcome actually look like?

What might the other person be experiencing that I haven't considered?
You don't have to agree with their perspective. But you do have to try to understand it.

What do I need to let go of before I walk in?
Defensiveness. The need to win. The story you've already written about how it will go.

Get those three things right.
The words will follow.