Working Styles Reflection
A Team Exercise
Most team friction doesn't start with a conflict. It starts with a mismatch.
One person processes out loud; another needs quiet time to think.
One moves fast; another needs more information before committing.
Neither is wrong. They're just wired differently.
This exercise gives your team a structured, low-stakes way to name those differences. You'll walk away with a clearer picture of how each person works best. And you'll have a shared language for navigating the places where your styles don't naturally align.
This exercise works best when there is enough psychological safety on the team for all members to feel comfortable sharing. Sometimes that safety needs to be built first.
Time Required: 40 minutes
Materials: Post-it notes and pens for each participant, whiteboard or flip-chart,
40 minutes of uninterrupted time, a room where people can speak candidly
Step 1: Set the Stage
(5 minutes)
Open by naming the purpose of the conversation. Keep it simple and direct.
Suggested framing for the facilitator:
“Today we’re going to talk about how we each work best. This isn’t about performance or problems. It’s about understanding each other better so we can work together more effectively.”
Facilitator note: Resist the urge to over-explain. The simpler the frame, the safer people will feel.
Step 2: Individual Reflection
(8 minutes)
Give each person a few Post-it notes. Ask them to reflect individually and write one idea per note.
Reflection prompts:
How do I do my best thinking? (alone, in conversation, with time, under pressure?)
What does it look like when I’m operating at my best?
What do I need from my teammates that I don’t always get?
Where do I think I might unintentionally create friction for others?
Facilitator note: Give people the full 8 minutes. Don’t rush this step. The quality of the conversation that follows depends on it.
Step 3: Share and Map
(15 minutes)
Invite each person to share their responses. As they share, map the Post-its on the whiteboard under three columns:
How I Work Best
What I Need
Where I Might Create Friction
After everyone has shared, take a moment to look at the full picture together. Use the following questions for a group conversation:
What patterns do you notice?
Where do our styles complement each other?
Where are the mismatches that might be causing friction?
Facilitator note: Your role here is to listen. Let the team draw their own conclusions before offering observations.
Step 4: Name the Mismatch
(7 minutes)
Ask the team to identify one or two specific places where style differences are creating friction right now. This step is not about blame. It’s about naming what’s real so the team can work with it. The following discussion prompts can help spur the conversation:
Is there a recurring pattern in how we get stuck or frustrated with each other?
Is there a relationship on the team where a working-style mismatch might be making things harder than they need to be?
Facilitator note: If the group goes quiet here, that’s okay. Give it a few seconds before moving on. The discomfort is part of the work.
Step 4: Make One Agreement
(5 minutes)
Close the exercise by asking the team to make one small, specific agreement about how they will work together differently based on what they’ve learned. Use these suggested prompts to start to wrap up the conversation:
Based on this conversation, what’s one thing we could do differently to make it easier for everyone to do their best work?
Is there one relationship on this team that would benefit from a direct conversation about working styles?
Write the agreement down. Put it somewhere the team can see it.
Facilitator note: One agreement is enough. You’re not trying to solve everything today. You’re building a practice of naming what’s real.
Looking Ahead:
This conversation is a starting point, not a one-time event.
Revisit the map at the start of a new project or team season. Ask: Are we setting up this work in a way that plays to how people work best?
Return to it when friction shows up. Before assuming there’s a trust or performance issue, ask whether it might be a working-style mismatch instead.
Use it to onboard new team members. Invite them to complete the reflection and share with the group in their first few weeks.
NEED MORE HELP?
If you’d like help facilitating this conversation of if you want to do deeper work on team dynamics and strengths, I’d love to connect. Reach out to me at susanne@carpenterleadership.com