How do you give feedback?
How do you give someone constructive feedback they can actually use?
Start with the situation, not the person.
Most feedback fails because it hands someone a verdict.
It's not helpful to tell someone "You're not a team player."
That's a label, not feedback.
There's nothing to do with that but get defensive.
Feedback that works names four things:
The context.
The specific behavior you saw.
The impact it had.
And what you need next.
So instead of "you're not a team player," it's saying:
"In Tuesday's meeting, you talked over two people before they finished. It shut the conversation down, and we lost input from others. Going forward, I need you to let others finish speaking before you speak."
Same message.
One is usable.
The other just stings.
Being good at feedback isn't about being softer.
It's about being more specific.
And the specificity is kindness.
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